I think there are some people who are inherently sad. People are born with their fair share of woes but there are some among them who seek out the darkness. There are some who choose to be happy no matter what and there are some that struggle to find happiness but still try. And then there are those who are addicted to the darkness. They feed off their unhappiness and misery. Even when they have something good they seek to destroy it because they probably believe they need to be punished for being happy. They are lost without their pain.
How do you help someone like this?
Looking through a frosty window... 
This is something I’ve thought about sometimes. I think it’s similar to people who think they’ll never ‘make it.’ They always seem to find a reason why they can’t get a job or have a better life or get close to people. Yet if they just changed their perspective, they’d have a job in an instant and do the things they really want to do. But nothing I can say about how great they are or what they can do helps because they need to have the shift in perspective themselves. It’s quite painful watching them how they live their lives, it looks like such a waste, but I guess all you can do is be their friend and support and encourage them.
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Yes, this is what I was thinking. Even if he wants to push me away, so be it. I won’t stop being a friend. It’s not in me to just let him be.
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A great question with no easy answer. I believe that the people we encounter in life cross our path for a reason as we cross theirs for a reason…and for a season typically. Whatever transpires is for our growth as individuals and community. Discerning that purpose is part of the process. And the answer can change with each encounter. When we are the sunshine in someone’s dark space we don’t always need words or anything outside of just going about our daily being. They have to make the choice to expose themselves to light or hide from it. Sometimes there is a helpful something to say or a way to help someone open up to a moment of opportunity, but I think that much of our greatest impact happens in ways we don’t even realize just by being who we are.
Another possibility haunts me a little in contemplating this…
Could it be that they are living their purpose in someway? In some much bigger cosmic picture is it part of the coloring on the canvas of life that some people would provide the shading? I don’t know.
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An interesting perspective. May be they were put on this earth to balance things out. Who knows?
But I love these words: When we are the sunshine in someone’s dark space we don’t always need words or anything outside of just going about our daily being. They have to make the choice to expose themselves to light or hide from it
Thank you.
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You’re welcome:) I’ve been contemplating this question over the course of my own encounters through the years.
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I think that Cuppajoe and Juni are both onto something. The question you ask is a good one and one with SO many possible answers. However, I think the most important question is the last one that you posed: how do you help someone like this? When you’re suffering, regardless of why, its usually empathy and understanding that you initially long for. You want someone to understand your pain or perspective. If I were in this “dark place” I would need you to “get it” before you try to become my hero. Nine times out of ten, that person has to help themselves and become their own hero. Sometimes having someone understand them is enough to encourage them to become that.
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You’re right… I think I would also want someone to “get it”. Something to think about and probably work on.
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