I’m faced with an interesting situation. I just got a job offer… something that will uproot my life and make me have to move to a new country. It’s a fantastic offer. It put me two levels above where I am right now. It’s not ideal because it’s a smaller country and therefore, I smaller market but, the position is lucrative. With what I’ve been feeling about my current job, I should say yes in a heartbeat. But then it’s a lot of logistics to work out as well. I’m a single mother and we just got into a great school. Priorities change…So I’m confused.
I feel like if I were a man, I wouldn’t think twice about it. And this is probably why women don’t progress as much in their career, let alone single moms. But my gut says, yes. So I should seriously think about it. My favorite saying at one time used to be… “Jump of the bridge and make you’re wings on the way down”… life changes when you’re responsible for people other than yourself. I guess we don’t always have the luxury of jumping off the bridge. Planning becomes important and thinking twenty steps ahead becomes the norm. Still, I feel I can be brave and jump of that bridge….I’ll just have to make stronger wings on my way down.
I had been feeling very lost and stuck. I don’t know how better to describe it. So I decided to take a break from writing. I probably didn’t want to talk about my problems and I really wasn’t in a place to write about anything else either.
Writing is supposed to be an avenue for release and for me it has been in the past. But this time, not so much. So I thought instead of trying to force myself to say things that I didn’t want to say or try to write about things I didn’t feel like, I should just stay quiet.
After what seems like a really long hiatus, I feel like writing again. Sometimes I do question whether writing a blog is of any use but then I realise I enjoy doing it. I enjoy reading what other poeple have to say and I hope someone out there will like reading what I have to say.
So what have I been doing in the past few weeks…since I haven’t been writing?
For one thing, I’ve been brooding a lot. I realize that I’m not very happy with my job. When I joined this job, I thought I would be doing at least a few exciting deals. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that way anymore. I’m doing very basic, mundane work. Things I used to do 10 years ago. While it isn’t always a bad thing to go back to basics, I realize that I’m not really learning anything new. For me, that really sucks. I’m a person who just cannot sit still. So, it’s really annoying when I feel that I’m not adding any value with the knowledge I have and I’m not gaining anything either.
To fill the void, I have decided to focus on art again. It was one of my goals for the year. I used to be quite good at drawing and painting when I was teenager. And then I just gave it up because I didn’t have the time. Well, I’ve been out of practic so it’s taking sometime to get my creative juices flowing. I’m trying to be very patient. Here’s something very basic I did. I really hope I can keep it up and I hope I am back to blogging again.