New Year 2018

I suddenly realized that we’re at the end of January. For some reason I thought we had another week to go.

I also suddently realized that this New Year I didn’t make any resolutions or set any goals. Last year, I did. Although I didn’t regularly keep score, I feel like I accomplished 6 out of the 10 that I had made which is not bad at all. So it’s not like I didn’t achieve anything so I’m giving up this year.

Somehow, it didn’t feel like a new year or a new beginning. It felt like just any other month starting so, it didn’t feel like I needed to do anything special or set any goals for the year.

I guess now that I’ve realized it is the new year… I need to sit and make some goals.

Pings

Sometimes your phone pings and there’s a message. You think you should answer it and then you decide not to. And then there’s another and another from someone else.

The problem with the ping is, once you answer it… the flood gates open so to speak. In this day and age, the ping means the beginning of a conversation. May be it’s a conversation you don’t want to have. But with time-stamps and activity reports, it’s so hard to avoid ignoring someone for too long.

I’m not trying to be condescending. Sometimes, you just need to be alone. Sometimes, I’m fine thanks…Hope you are too… should be sufficient. I feel guilty when I don’t answer. Although these days, I’m learning to avoid this feeling and answering messages on my own terms. I’m learning to politely say, I need to go or I’m in the middle of something. We can’t all be chatty all the time.

January 26, 2018

I don’t know what it is… I just haven’t liked writing for a while. I think, like most other facets of my life, I put up impossible standards for myself. I feel like if I don’t write something profound, then I shouldn’t be writing at all. None of what I’ve written in this blog has been profound in any way. So I don’t see why I feel the next post should be. Yet the need for some kind of perfection keeps me from doing things, not just writing this blog. It makes me procrastinate and it makes me skip things that I would have otherwise done. I’ve decided to actively stop doing that. Something doesn’t have to be perfect to get done. Sometimes I can do something that’s just so-so. And it’s ok. My biggest critic is me and that has to stop. If I want to write, I should just write without having to worry whether it’s good or not.