For the past one week, I’ve been wondering what to write on my CV. In 2019, I quit my job to start my own consulting practice. I was at it for a year and had to dip into my savings until I took a job with a 35% pay cut. I had to pay the bills.
Now, I know that if I tell people I quit my job to start my own business so I could spend more time with my family and work on my own terms, no one will believe me. I can’t tell people that I went back to work a month and a half after my daughter was born and literally never took a holiday for more than a week at a time. I can’t tell people that I’d been working non-stop for 15 years and at the last job I had, I routinely worked 14 to 16-hour days.
I was burned out. But, that’s not something you can say on a resume or LinkedIn.
No one will believe me anyway. Everyone will think I got fired and I’m making up stories to cover for that. Sometimes I think, I should just tell people that I got fired. It seems to be the easier option that people will accept.
This is not the only instance where I’ve thought about lying. We seem to live in a world where people simply love to presume things. And instead of actually fighting against those preconceived ideas, I sometimes just feel it’s easier to play a part to fit that persona. I was never like this. But, as I get older, I feel like I’m tired of fighting.
When people see that I’m brown-skinned, they automatically seem to put me in some kind of box. And then when they meet me, everything I say or do seems to surprise them. For the longest time, I never gave this any thought. But now I realize, it’s because they had this idea of how I’m supposed to be or act because of where I come from.
I realize that where we grow up often shapes our habits. Our culture is influenced by our surroundings. But, what if that’s not always the case. I was always taught people are people, regardless of color, money, upbringing, nationality, or whatever. But I’m no saint. I have biases too – mostly to do with gender issues and I fight hard not to let it cloud my judgement.
I was very idealistic when I was younger. The reason I started working in banking, even though I didn’t really want to, was because I refused to pull strings to get into a different job. It worked out well for me in the long run. But now, I’m not so sure I would make the same decision.