Things work themselves out

Sometimes I’ll be fretting over something and wondering how on earth I will get out of a situation. Because I get so worked up, I out of doing anything about it. And then… out of no where things just have a way working themselves out. Then I realize not taking any action was probably the best thing I could do.

Giving my eyes a break

It seems like these days, every waking moment is spent in front of a screen. Ok, I’m exaggerating. But it’s certainly several hours a day. If it’s not the screen, it’s paper, books, etc. etc. I seem to be getting a headache very quickly these days from all the screen time and reading. I spend may be 2 hours of awake time not straining my eyes for some close activity. That’s so bad….

For the last week or so, I’ve decided to give Audible a serious try. It’s really comforting to just close my eyes and listen. Helps me slow down the pace of the day and get my book count up.

Thursday, 24 Jan 2019

It’s that time again, when I sit and stare at the screen…not sure what to write. So I’m just going to write random thoughts. It’s the end of the work week for me today and I’m so very tired. I’m happy but tired. It’s been a good week. I got a lot of things done and I’m well on my way to getting more done. It’s nice to get things done…. the sense of accomplishment, the feeling that something has been achieved is quite elevating. This afternoon I was walking around with a silly grin on my face… probably because the week was over for me, probably because it felt good that I managed to achieve quite a bit.

Happy Thursday everyone…. may your weekend be pleasant.

Goals overhaul

It seems like whichever way I turn, every life coach, every productivity book, every planner system and every other article / blog keeps stressing the importance of goals in one’s life. Now this is not a foreign concept to me. I’ve always had short term or long term goals. But I don’t think I have been very good at defining my goals properly and been even worse at following through with them.

Over last 15 years of my life, I have let my focus on work rule how I live my life. I have let it rule how much energy I have for myself and my family and where I am headed.  On the one hand, my goals always involved either short-term work goals, like getting things done or achieving a sales target or closing a deal. On the other hand, my personal goals involved getting that next promotion or role. The only good goal I had in the last few years was deciding to finish my professional certification and take my family for a proper vacation.

About a month ago I decided to make a huge change in my life and quit my job. I am now on the road to starting my own practice and I’ve come to realize that if I want to succeed, I need to define my goals properly. Most importantly I need to work towards my goals. It’s not easy knowing where to start but, it’s important to start. For now, I’m just listing out everything I want to achieve, big or small, work or personal. As the days go by, I will re-organize these goals into larger goals with smaller steps or tasks to achieve them. I think just like Maslow’s theory, I will create a hierarchy of goals.

I’m hopeful to turn things around in my life and I’m starting with setting the right goals.

Keep your chin up

For the last two years I have been working like there’s no tomorrow. I started this new job at a private company and hit the ground running, as they say. I gave up on giving my final level of certification, I gave up holidays and I gave time with my family. I gave up going out with friends, spending time writing or doing any of the things I love. I feel like all I did was work and when I didn’t work, I was too tired to be doing anything else. I was enjoying my role and so I put my heart and soul into the job. And now I realize that it was just that… a job.

I thought I was an integral part of the company but over the last one month I have come to realize that is not the case at all. It’s not like I have done anything wrong. But, when the going gets tough, unfortunately people start to cast blame. I don’t know how to point fingers or lie and I know this has been a big problem for me throughout my career. In the corporate world, one is meant to be ruthless and tough. But, these days most people confuse these attributes to mean being rude and having no moral compass.

Now everything that I have done for the last two years doesn’t seem to be so rewarding after all. I have spent my time trying to make one man rich and then got none of the things I was promised in return. No appreciation, no bonus for all of my achievements… instead I was told that I am not performing because they have conveniently chosen to forget everything I have achieved and all the hard work I have put in. And I did achieve a lot. Working in an unstructured private company meant I had to bring my own (overboard) organizational expertise and create policies and trackers for the 40+ projects I was handling on my own. I had deadlines and reporting methods and went above and beyond to create a very high standard for my function. In the end, this was not appreciated at all. I think it may be because the company has been running in a very ad hoc manner and the top management has a style of putting out fires or dealing with things as we go along. So planning, to-do lists and organized methods of working and execution are not really their thing. I have been told that I keep too calm under pressure. That’s a first! But it’s comments like that make me realize, that the issue is definitely not me. It is a lack of professionalism in them.

Do I regret working so hard and forsaking everything else in my life? A little bit. But I have also learned a lot during this time and I did enjoy the work I did. When faced with adversity people react badly. I know this. But not reacting badly is probably more difficult and what we should strive for. I can’t remain in a toxic environment like this where everyone just lies to save themselves all the time and throwing blame on other (whether true or not) is the game. It is sad and unfortunate. I am disheartened because I have to deal with the sad truth again… people are just not what they seem. It’s become so easy for people to cross the moral barrier and get away with it. Well, sometimes they are commended for it. I want to believe that there is something better out there. I want to believe that there are still good people out there.

All I can say to myself everyday…. Keep your chin up!

The Big Move

I moved houses after 12 years. It was a big big task for me. Not just moving houses but leaving behind a city and I loved.

I hear of people moving around all the time. Some people I know have changed houses 4 times in the last 10 years that I’ve known them. I don’t know how they do it. I suppose I’m just the kind of person who likes to feel some sense of attachment. I don’t know.

I can only hope that this will feel like home soon.