My vicious cycle of procrastination

For the last few weeks, I have been lagging behind on everything.

I feel like I’m constantly playing catch up with work and life.

My anxiety levels are peaking and I feel terrible, which makes me procrastinate more and on and on… so goes the vicious cycle. 

I’ve always had a problem with procrastination. To my own detriment, I have always been a perfectionist.  I know that this has been a positive for me because it’s helped me be better than most people. But this also means that I have a big problem in delivering on time.

Progress over perfection. Just do it. and whatever other mantras are out there… I’ve tried them all. I still can’t seem to shake off the need to make sure that the outcome is perfect. 

Any blog post or article out there will tell you that people procrastinate because they have fears.

What do I fear? 

I fear a number of things. I fear that my work will not be the best. I fear that I have made a mistake. I fear criticism and worst of all, I fear rejection.

For a while, I conquered my fears. I decided not to give it too much thought. Well, not true, but not to dwell on making it the best. There will always be critics and there will always be the rejections but that doesn’t mean we lie paralyzed in fear.

None of us would get anything done in this world if all we had was fear.

I have struggled with these problems for a long time. But, I think it may have gotten worse in the last few years. Interestingly enough, I have never shared these problems with anyone… ever. I’m sure there’s some kind of fear hidden there as well.

Buck up and power through. I think that’s what I need to repeat to myself. Not doing the work for fear that it will not be good is not an option anymore. Time is literally money for me now and everyday I spend not delivering is money not earned. 

Seriously, people like us need more support groups.