I haven’t written much of anything over the last couple of months. No blog posts, no articles, and not even my journal. I know I’ve been avoiding it because of my mental state.
I’m the kind of person who likes to block things out. I don’t deal with issues head on very easily. I’d rather just forget, move on and pretend like nothing happened.
Any psychiatrist will probably tell you how wrong it is not deal with your feelings.
But these days, not many of us the luxury of voicing our feelings. Most of us don’t even know what we’re feeling. We’re wading through uncharted waters and for most of us it’s just about taking each day at a time and dealing with the present.
I was still writing regularly until April. I suppose even with the lockdown in full flow, things hadn’t sunk in. It was something new and we were all just adjusting to what we thought was a temporary situation.
But, things started to get worse.
People have been hit from every side. If they’re lucky enough not to get sick, they still have to deal with the economic fall out and job loss. We are probably experiencing the worst time we will see in our lives…. and it’s across the globe. Everyone is at risk.
I’ve had to be super cautious with a high-risk child at home. I’m constantly on the lookout when I go out and I’m always sanitizing everything, even if it’s clean.
This constant paranoia and anxiety has definitely taken a toll on me… and I’m sure I’m not alone.
What we’re experiencing is quickly becoming the new normal and there’s no way we will come out of this unscathed. Whether we admit or not, this year will have lasting effects on our mental health.
Our sense of security has been shaken to the core. Even if we find a vaccine or a cure, and I hope it’s soon, I think it will take a long time for us to feel safe again.
This is why we need to do all we can to make sure that we don’t slip into a coma of paralyzing fear. I haven’t done a very good job of it in the last few months but, I’m definitely trying to find my way.