I signed my papers to close down my company today. It was inevitable. I realized that the kind of consulting business I wanted to do was not something people were interested in… at least not in the city that I’m living in at the moment. I’m sure there will be people who succeed in the same line of work but, I probably don’t have what it takes; not right now. Obviously, the situation was only exacerbated by the pandemic. 

I won’t lie; I am sad. No one starts a practice, with a vision of failing. I had a lot of hope; and my goal was to help people, albeit on a small scale. I saw that there were plenty of small businesses who could benefit from my help, but could never afford my services with the big brands that I’d worked with. Unfortunately, it didn’t exactly pan out that way.

I learned two very important lessons – one, the brand is important. You can send the same report with a brand name on it and people will take notice. And two, there are some people who just don’t want to be helped. 

So, after two years, I’ve decided to quit. Am I calling it quits too early? Quite possibly. It’s quite possible I may have succeeded given enough time. But the truth is, this city is expensive and I don’t have the resources to keep at it. Given my skill set, I can definitely earn a better living at a regular job. So for now, I’ve shelved my dreams of being an entrepreneur. 

I’ve gone back to work and in fact, I’ve had to take a few steps back. Still, I’m not complaining. I’m earning enough to sustain my family and then some. I’m also learning and since the work hours are not as gruesome, I manage to get a lot of personal development after work, not to mention more time with my daughter. 

Above all, even if I am a little heartbroken, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and for surviving. I’m grateful to have a job now and my health. When you go through a really tough time, you learn to appreciate even the basic things that you took for granted before. 

I believe that when the time is right, I will get a second chance to do what I set out to do.

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