I’ve always had a problem with saying no to people, whether it’s people I know or people I don’t. But, I’ve come to realize that the alternative is never pleasant.
One of two things happens when you can’t say no:
Relationship Blow Up
You regret saying yes, and you fester about the situation. You hate yourself for getting into something you never wanted to do in the first place and you end up being bitter. You’re resentful of the person who asked you for something and you’re stuck in a bad situation. Too much of this and you can end up destroying relationships. Because one day you will explode. It’s never the case that you’re going to be okay with saying yes to things you don’t want to do.
Ghosting
You don’t say no immediately. You kind of say “Yes” and lead someone on, just to be polite.
Sometimes of course, you can be duped. . You’re having a conversation about trying something out. Finally, you realize that they were trying to make a sale. At this stage, you’re too far along in the process to turn back but, you don’t want to buy anything either.
Either way, you pull a disappearing act and just ghost the person. You avoid their emails and calls, and eventually they go away. But, sadly yet another contact has been voided.
It never ends well when you decide to do things against your will. If you really wanted to say no, but end up saying yes, somewhere down the line things will start to become difficult. Either you will get depressed or, you turn into a seemingly fickle person.
It’s never easy though. It takes practice. Even though I still find myself in these situations, I’m trying to learn to say no. I’m trying to be upfront with people and walk the fine line between seeming to impolite and having my peace of mind.
Looking through a frosty window... 