A man that has to walk on egg shells to keep peace, will eventually become so skilled at it, that he makes no sound in life.Jason Wilson
I read this quote today and it struck a chord with me. For much of my life, I have walked on eggshells. I can’t say when it exactly started but I do know that I wasn’t always like this.
I was very brave when I was younger. I was quiet but, brave. I did what I needed to do without a second thought. As time wore on, I started to get called out for my actions. I started to be put down and I became weak.
I avoided confrontation and I was always worried about what people would think. I did walk on eggshells.
I feel like I am chaining though, and the biggest reason for this change is that being quiet has brought me nothing but grief. It’s as the quote rightly says… I stopped making a sound in life. I stopped trying to reach for the goals I had and I stopped being brave.
Most importantly, being quiet built resentment in me. Because being quiet and not being bold was not who I really was. I was putting on a persona. I was trying to be someone I am not.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a confrontational person but, it took me a while to realize that not everything has to be a confrontation. Sometimes walking away from a fight doesn’t mean you give in but, rather it means you don’t wish to fuel the conflict.
I do realize though that part of the reason I did what I did, was because I was afraid to lose the other person, or lose the job, or just be left out. When I was younger and more vocal, I got a lot of grief from people about being too smart. So I toned it down. I held back and I stopped being who I was.
Gladly, it has made me a permanently bitter person and I’m still only 40 so, realizing it now is still not too late. Finding that balance between being humble and forceful is never easy. But, what is easy is being open and if someone doesn’t like you for it, it their problem… not yours.
Eventually, we all have to be who we are or else, we will forever live a life of regret and resentment.