I’m not a nice person. Most people around me these days will attest to that. I don’t like people anymore and it’s difficult for me to be around them.
Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been extremely scared. My daughter has a health condition and I can’t afford to get sick since I’m a single parent. But, life has to go on and I have had to be outdoors for work and it’s been hell for us these past two and half years. So yes, I don’t like people anymore.
I know things have gotten better but, even a one-time exposure can spell disaster for me and her. So, I’m still cautious. Every bit as cautious as I was on day one. So yes, I don’t like being around people.
I had to go back to the workplace full time for last 2 years. Yes, it was unavoidable.
I’ve had people scoff at me. I’ve had people laugh at me. I’ve had people complain about me. But, I didn’t have one person ask why I continue to mask and avoid people. Not once have they stopped me to ask if I’m okay or why I am so cautious. They’ve all written me off as a crazy nut.
The problem is, I don’t know if I’m over doing it. But, I do know that these people will not be by my side, if my daughter is in the hospital. I’ve been there before, and I know how it all plays out. I don’t know what could happen if my kid catches Covid but, I’m not going to take a chance to find out.
We tend to believe that we are showing compassion to people. For someone with an obvious special need, we tend to be careful. But, what about someone, like my daughter. There are no obvious signs she is sick. Her problem is in her internal organ.
Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
But, we can’t hope for some compassion because it’s our personal problem and it doesn’t affect them. When did we become so self-centered? When did we stop caring about anyone but ourselves?
The funny thing is, I don’t want special treatment. I can however, do without people misbehaving like I’m the one who’s wrong.
We need to find it in our hearts to be compassionate about the people around us, even if we can’t always see them suffering.